The same pen. So I could, theoretically, write about it once again. Licking my finger as I turn back the pages I know what parts of my life are filled with joy.
With authentic smiles and accurate laughter. With warmth in my heart and an overflowing soul. When everything in life felt perfect. Yet perfect often is its own mask, much like the one I wore as happiness began to fade. Hiding the truth behind a smile and uplifting vocals. But by the time I finally removed the mask, whatever happiness I once had no longer remained. An expired hourglass with nobody around to see the final grain of sand drop.
Would I have watched what remained fade away, its light growing dimmer along the horizon until nothing else remained? Or did it escape during the night, leaving me with nothing more than a bad dream and the weight of emotional self-abandonment? Proof in that I remember being happy. I remember laughing without the depressed pull at the back of my skull.
What it took. Or what made me happy. I grew up playing the violin. Started at the age of four. Played every day through high school. Recently I purchased an electric violin. My brain was lost in musical translation. The same was true with happiness. What brings about happiness? What takes it away? Two specific questions with a billion unique answers.
Your answers, if you have any, may differ from mine. The loss of a parent. The divorce of a spouse. A holiday season alone. A disappearing favorite job. Another holiday season alone. Every single one attributed to the downfall. There are moments I feel more than the pain I write about. The pain I keep in. Small glimmers of something. Maybe the moments are nothing. Maybe the moments are everything. The look my three-legged dog gives me when she needs help climbing a tall step.
The feeling of her as she crawls next to me on a cold night. I adopted her the day after her leg was removed. Bad owners? A car? I helped her learn how to walk again, and we had a special bond because of it, but it took years for her to crawl up and curl herself up into the small spoon. I smile when she does it. The open road ahead of me and a coffee in hand.
It can be the worst tasting gas station coffee, burnt remnants of whatever beans were left from the day before, and yet the coffee, the sky, the road, it all comes together. It remains until my other dog slides her nose into my ear from the back seat and begins to hyperventilate.
Her own happiness. Take out a piece of paper, and write "What is most important to me? Now, start listing things that are important. Try not to think too hard about it. Rather, list the things that pop into your head in the order they pop into your head. Identifying your values can help you figure out what will make you the most happy. For instance, if you realize you value your family over your job, you may decide to spend more time at home.
For example, maybe you would write "my family," "my pets," and "my job. Translate those into values. See if you can figure out how to translate what's most important to you into values. If you listed "travel," then maybe adventure is one of your values. Look at other values on the list.
If you used a list of values from the internet, it can help to simply look through that list to see if you can find other things you value. Go through a list and star any values that seem relevant to your life. Right now, star as many as you feel are important to you, even if it seems like you're starring too many at once.
Narrow down your values. Now try narrowing down your values to the 10 most important. You're not saying that you don't value the ones you're leaving off. Rather, you're looking inside yourself to see what is most important to you.
Once you've narrowed down to 10, try narrowing down to 5. Next, try to pick your most important value. If you're having a hard time deciding, ask yourself which ones you could live without.
For instance, you might find that you can live without adventure as long as your family is happy. Take an assessment. Another option to help you figure out your values is to take an assessment. You can find any number of assessments on the internet for free that will help you assess what you value. Some may require you to give them an email address, though. Try looking on psychology-based sites. However, remember that no assessment is perfect, and if you feel like the values you get back are off, feel free to move them around as needed.
Rearrange your life. Once you figure out what your values are, it's time to put those into play. Consider how you can rearrange your life to better fit your values. Rearranging your life should make you happier, as it is bringing your life more in line with who you are.
Another example is that if you find you value adventure, spend more time seeking it in your life. You don't need to go on glamorous vacations to find adventure. You can do it in your own city by seeking out new places to visit, new things to try, and new restaurants to eat.
The point is whatever values you have at the top, especially the top value, should come first in your life. You need to make space for it with your time, energy, and money. Part 3. Pursue active hobbies. Active hobbies, such as engaging with other people, exercising, or making things, can increase your happiness in comparison to passive hobbies, such as watching television. Therefore, exploring hobbies that get you active can help increase your happiness once you find one you love.
You just need to find it meaningful and relaxing. Look at what you loved in the past. If you're looking for a new hobby, consider what you enjoyed doing in the past, even in childhood.
For instance, if you loved coloring, you could find a pastime that puts similar skills into play, such as drawing with colored pencils. Browse hobbies. Another way to try picking up a new hobby is to browse places that are focused on hobbies. For instance, you could visit the craft store or sporting goods store. You could also go to the library and browse through the books on different kinds of hobbies. When you find something that interests you, try to find more information on that hobby.
Join a class or club. Once you figure out something you want to try, find a place in your local community to engage. Many communities have hobby clubs through the library or parks and recreation department. You can also take a class, either through a community college, a local museum, or your parks and recreation department.
Not only will you explore your hobby, you'll meet other like-minded people who have similar interests. Work on it a bit every day. If you've decided you like a particular hobby, spend some time doing it regularly. Try a half an hour every day or a couple hours one or two nights a week. Make sure you are making time to do the hobbies you enjoy, so that it can increase your overall happiness.
Part 4. Volunteer in your community. Volunteering leads to happiness for many people, partially because it puts the focus outside of yourself.
Studies have shown that helping others out often leads to an increase in well-being and happiness, even if you are regularly feeling stressed out or burned out. Pick something you're passionate about or that fits your skill set. For instance, maybe you are passionate about helping the homeless, so you decide to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Alternatively, maybe you are a skilled marketer , so you decide to help out a local nonprofit with its marketing.
Focus on optimism, particularly realistic optimism. Optimistic people tend to be happier than pessimistic people. Being an optimist means looking at life differently. You may need to relearn how you think about problems, approaching them with a new frame of mind. In other words, if you have a setback, you may need to take a different approach, not quit altogether.
However, optimists do need a sense of realism, too. That is, while you hope for the best, it's fine to take some precautions to ward off certain outcomes. Increase your sense of control. When you feel like you have control over your life, you tend to be happier. Therefore, increasing your sense of control can lead to greater happiness, especially if you feel like you don't have much control over your life at the moment. When you complete a task, you feel more in control because you've laid out something for you to do, and you've done it.
Go out with friends. Most people benefit from socializing with other people on a regular basis. You may find socializing difficult if you're an introvert. However, you don't need to go out with scores of people to socialize. You can socialize with just a couple of friends at a time, for instance, or even just hang out with your family.
That way, you meet people with similar interests, and you have something to talk about. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Related wikiHows How to. How to. Expert Interview. More References About This Article.
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