During his high school years, he was a devout Christian. He was invited by some friends to join a spiritual group that seemed innocent initially. He realized shortly after that something more sinister was happening around him.
Around the time the shift in the nature of the club occurred, he met Swartz's great-grandmother. Not long after, they decided to get married.
The leaders of the organization he was part of refused to allow them to get married at their own church. Instead, they let him invite his family and friends to the ceremony, where they addressed their suspicions as outsiders. Swartz's grandfather denied anything was wrong. So, they got married in this building with all of his friends and his family was there and his mom was like 'hey, this seems a little weird,'" Swartz said.
It's kind of like the Freemasons. After the marriage, the cult began to exert even more pressure on the couple, even requesting they abort their first child. Swartz's great-grandmother fled the compound where the members lived and hid out in her husband's parental home.
Her in-laws realized their earlier assumption of the religious organization was correct, and her great-grandfather came to stay with them late into the pregnancy. This angered the leaders of his cult, so members were sent to retrieve Swartz's great-grandfather from his home, along with his newborn child. Do you want the news without having to hunt for it? Sign up for our morning s'newsletter.
It's everything your friends are talking about and then some. And it's free! They ended up abducting him and bringing him back with the baby," Swartz said. This was the final straw for her great-grandmother, Swartz said.
She gave her husband an ultimatum: He could choose to stay and live in the cult, or he could choose his wife and daughter. He decided to defect, and members of the cult attempted to abduct him a second time. Some of the cult members were sentenced to life for their participation in the physical violence and assault that was fairly routine in the organization.
Fontanesi said the decision to defect from a cult usually comes from the realization that the promises made in recruitment were empty and meaningless. They're not going to give you eternal healing and peace and love," she said. Post-defection, a new journey begins for a victim of cult manipulation and their loved ones. There's a long road to recovering from the impact of the experience. While it's important to seek therapy, the psychological trauma cuts deep and, according to Fontanesi, sometimes can't be fully healed.
But when a person is in dire need of approval — possibly due to longstanding feelings of neglect — the attention and acceptance a cult provides can feel like a welcome balm. Perpetua Neo tells Bustle. Which is why cult members tend to play into this trait when they're out seeking new members.
Neo says. Folks who are desperately searching for approval may be more likely to join a cult, as a way of feeling like they belong. And the same is true for people who are out searching for their identity. If you've felt like a drifter through life or don't feel like your relationships are deep enough — in other words, you can be surrounded by people and feel terrifyingly lonely — a cult may provide that sense of family which you may have never experienced. Of course, that's not to say that people who are looking for new friends, or those who feel lonely , are going to get swept up in a cult.
But it's true that many cults prey on this desire. Many years ago, when I spent a summer proselytizing, we were told to look for loners, for students, for people who seemed to be searching or questioning… because we had the answers. Cults are often centered around a strong leader, who is typically dynamic and warm and inspiring — all traits that can be incredibly attractive to someone whose personality lends itself to following others, instead of being a leader themselves.
As Dr. Neo says, "Cult leaders can While that can be appealing to anybody, the words of a cult leader can fall heavily on the ears of people who are looking for someone to follow or emulate. If they like to be told what to do, the predictable daily schedule of cult life can also be incredibly appealing. We all want to figure out the "meaning of life," find our purpose, and learn more about ourselves.
Essentially, peer pressure makes it impossible for people to function at full capacity. If you find yourself too tired or confused to make decisions, ask yourself why. They destabilize your view of reality. And when your mind is under threat, you keep returning to the safety and love of your leader. All humans have false beliefs and a tendency toward magical thinking. But cult members depend on the cult for direction when their brains are disoriented.
Identity disturbance. If you feel like a new you— a better you —ask yourself why. Cults alternate reward and punishment to stress people out and disrupt their identities. From there, cults can inflict a new identity on a member, one that depends on submission and self-surrender. Have you just moved to a new town? Started college? Did you just break up with a boyfriend or have a falling out with a friend? Cults prey on people in these social transitions. You want to feel better fast.
Cults offer the promise of quieting your internal demons. The cult expert Margaret Thaler Singer thought that cults thrived during times of political and social unrest. Former cult members report that spirituality is one of the main factors influencing conversion. Cults can fill the void. Ask yourself if those emotional needs are being manipulated.
Identify an opposing message, or a neutral message. Compare different sources of information. Reach out to your support network.
Remember that you are an autonomous individual with the personal freedom to choose your affiliations. Tagged With: brainwashing cults depression loneliness manipulation mind control narcissism social isolation support system.
Explore the latest mental wellness tips and discussions, delivered straight to your inbox. Email Address. Raquel on October 30, at am. Hi, the best list of indicators I have found so far I propose a rewriting of the 1st though 1. Wistar Murray on November 3, at pm.
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